A faint blush colored Lu Sihe’s cheeks. Though he was a prince, he looked like an ordinary young gentleman. His pale green clothes were simple, and they made his face seem all the more refined.
That shy expression was so much like Tan Shen’s.
“I didn’t realize Your Highness and I shared the same tastes,” Shen Ci’an said.
Swings were generally thought of as something young women enjoyed. Few men would stop at one. Apart from an oddity like Shen Ci’an, Lu Sihe seemed to be the only one.
Shen Ci’an often came here to curl up on the swing and bask in the sun. It was a quiet place that few people visited. With no one in Lu Yinghuai’s harem, he had never been disturbed—until he ran into Lu Sihe two days in a row.
If nothing else, that face alone made Shen Ci’an willing to indulge him for a while.
Lu Yan had spent decades making that same face at him while wheedling and acting cute. Even if the soul inside this body was not Lu Yan’s, Shen Ci’an still had a soft spot for it.
Lu Sihe bit his lip, his cheeks turning bright red. Perhaps he was embarrassed to have been caught on the swing.
“I was only passing by and stopped to rest.”
His voice was gentle and refined, the sort that made people warm to him without trying.
For someone with those looks and that temperament to live in the palace like a ghost, unnoticed by everyone—how could he have managed it without some skill?
Lu Sihe had hidden himself so well that everyone overlooked him. Even Shen Ci’an might have forgotten he existed if Lu Sihe had not deliberately approached him.
A prince without allies was still a prince. Until the succession was settled, he remained a possible contender.
And a prince with no one to protect him would have been easy to make disappear into the depths of the palace. Yet no one had ever moved against him. Even someone as suspicious as Lu Jiayan had left him alone. Lu Sihe’s schemes and self-control could not possibly be as harmless as his face suggested.
How strange, though. Lu Sihe never caused any trouble in the original story. Why start making moves now that Lu Yinghuai is emperor?
As soon as Lu Sihe finished speaking, he began to cough. The attendant beside him deftly produced a handkerchief. The coughing was not severe, but he was plainly uncomfortable.
“Is Your Highness unwell? I know a little medicine. If you don’t mind, I could take your pulse.”
The Shen Ci’an who had originally lived in this world knew some medicine, though not a great deal. He had often gathered herbs to sell to an apothecary. Learning to identify their uses had taught him a little about treating illness. He could take a pulse and had sometimes helped his neighbors with minor ailments.
Lu Sihe hesitated, then nodded and pushed his sleeve up slightly.
“Then I’ll trouble you, Marquis of Yong’an.”
Shen Ci’an drew back his own sleeve, revealing a length of slender, pale wrist. He placed his fingertips on Lu Sihe’s cool skin.
Autumn had only just begun, and Lu Sihe was dressed warmly. How could his wrist be this cold?
Lu Sihe lowered his gaze to Shen Ci’an’s hand taking his pulse—or perhaps to his own. He sat obediently still. Only when he noticed the tiny, barely visible red mole on Shen Ci’an’s wrist did the corner of his mouth lift by the slightest degree.
The pulse beneath Shen Ci’an’s fingers was somewhat weak, but there was nothing else markedly unusual about it.
He withdrew his hand. “Your constitution has been badly depleted, Your Highness. Cold and damp have settled deep in your body, and I’m afraid it will be difficult to cure completely. You’ll need to take care of yourself. There’s no immediate danger, though. Gentle, warming foods and tonics should help you feel better.”
Lu Sihe stared at him. He had assumed Shen Ci’an truly knew only a little. Lu Sihe understood his own body better than anyone: he would never be as healthy as an ordinary man. Countless physicians had examined him, yet all they ever said was that his constitution was weak. None could tell him why.
Shen Ci’an had understood with a single touch of his pulse.
A depleted body. Cold and damp lodged deep within it. No complete cure.
And he did feel much better after eating warming foods or soaking in a hot spring.
Shen Ci’an had been far too modest about his medical knowledge.
“I didn’t know the Marquis of Yong’an understood medicine as well.”
Shen Ci’an smiled at him, open and bright.
“Before I returned to the marquis’s household, my family made a living gathering and selling medicinal herbs. Over time, I learned a little about them.”
He spoke with easy composure and a touch of nostalgia. There was no sign that he was ashamed to discuss his past.
Lu Sihe could tell Shen Ci’an had never regarded growing up in the countryside as something disgraceful. If anything, he seemed to remember those years fondly.
The scandal of the real and false heirs of the Yong’an household had once been the talk of the capital. Lu Sihe could hardly have missed it.
“I see.”
Since Shen Ci’an had returned to the marquis’s household only recently, it would be natural for him to know little about Lu Sihe. So he raised the subject himself.
“But how did Your Highness’s health become so depleted? A condition this severe must have developed over many years.”
Both times they had met, Lu Sihe had appeared frail. And he had agreed to let Shen Ci’an take his pulse. Wasn’t this exactly where he wanted the conversation to lead?
Shen Ci’an looked genuinely concerned, a faint question in his beautiful eyes. When he fixed his gaze on someone, there was something almost bewitching about it.
Lu Sihe met those eyes and lost his train of thought for a moment. Suddenly, he understood why Lu Jiayan and Lu Yinghuai had both become so hopelessly captivated by Shen Ci’an.
It was not merely his beautiful face. It was those eyes—so lovely they seemed capable of enchanting anyone who looked into them.
Shen Ci’an was closely tied to the incident from more than a decade ago. The Marquis of Yong’an had offered Shen Ci’an’s life in exchange for Lu Yinghuai’s, and Shen Ci’an had ended up lost among the common people for sixteen years.
Once he returned to the marquis’s household, Shen Ci’an could hardly have remained ignorant of why he had been switched. He would also know that Lu Sihe’s mother had been behind the assassination attempt.
And yet Shen Ci’an still treated him with such warmth. He truly was as kind as Lu Sihe had heard—kind to the point of leaving himself open to harm.
At the question, Lu Sihe lowered his head slightly. A trace of sadness crossed his face and vanished almost at once, though it lingered long enough to be noticed.
“I’m simply a little weaker than most people. Perhaps I carry too much guilt, and Heaven is making me atone for it.”
Lu Sihe paused before continuing. “Some of that guilt concerns you, Marquis of Yong’an. An apology may mean little now, but I owe you one all the same. If my mother had not lost her senses and committed such a terrible crime, you would not have been separated from the old marquis for more than ten years.”
His voice was low, his expression subdued. He made no show of grief to invite Shen Ci’an’s sympathy. Instead, he seemed to be facing the past honestly.
He looked like an honorable young man willing to take responsibility for a wrong, even one that had not truly been his.
Lu Sihe had been only five when his mother was executed by lingchi. He could hardly have conspired with her to assassinate the empress. In truth, he had played no part in it.
That was why Lu Yinghuai had not gone out of his way to punish Lu Sihe after taking the throne. Lu Sihe’s life was better now than it had been when he was a prince. At least he had a residence of his own instead of living among the princes, where he had been bullied.
He had been an unfavored prince whose mother was executed by imperial decree. That was different from losing a mother to illness or accident. No one wanted to take him in. The palace was vast and full of people, yet not one of them had helped him.
Palace maids and eunuchs had withheld his meals and stolen his belongings. Surviving all those years had been difficult enough. It was hardly surprising that his health had suffered.
Shen Ci’an seemed a little startled that Lu Sihe had brought up the matter so openly. Then he gave him a faint smile and answered gently.
“A new emperor has taken the throne, and the world has turned a new page. The grievances of the previous generation are behind us. Your Highness can set your mind at ease.”
Shen Ci’an stood straight. His manner was not overly familiar, but there was no trace of resentment in it.
Could anyone truly be so forgiving? He did not hate the person who had enjoyed the wealth and status meant for him. He did not hate the parents whose decision had nearly cost him his life. He did not even hate Lu Yinghuai, who had been saved because Shen Ci’an’s parents had given him up.
Shen Ci’an hated no one—not even the son of the woman who had started it all. That should have pleased Lu Sihe. It gave him a better chance of getting close to Shen Ci’an and winning his trust. Yet for some reason, he felt no satisfaction at all.
Lu Sihe bit his lip, his face full of guilt. To Shen Ci’an, the expression was transparent and overdone. The amusement faded from his eyes. Suddenly, the whole encounter felt dull.
Tan Shen would never have made a face like that. Even the loveliest features lost their appeal when the person behind them was cruel.
Lu Sihe was about to speak again when a voice called out.
“Ci’an.”
It was Lu Yinghuai.
Shen Ci’an and Lu Sihe turned at the same time. As Lu Yinghuai approached, Lu Sihe knelt to greet him.
Lu Yinghuai’s expression was calm. He did not so much as glance at Lu Sihe. “Rise,” he said offhandedly, then drew Shen Ci’an into his arms. A slight smile touched his lips, but there was none in his narrow eyes.
Shen Ci’an could tell he was angry.
“The Imperial Wardrobe has finished our wedding robes. Shall we go back and try them on?”
Something flickered in Lu Sihe’s eyes.
Shen Ci’an looked up at Lu Yinghuai and raised an eyebrow. “All right.”
That answer did nothing to improve Lu Yinghuai’s mood. He turned his attention to Lu Sihe.
“Prince of Yue, your health is poor. In future, stay at your residence and recuperate. There’s no need to come out and risk catching a chill.”
If they had been alone, Shen Ci’an would have laughed at him. He was emperor now, yet his feelings were still written all over his face.
Only after Lu Sihe lowered his head and answered, “Yes, Your Majesty,” did Lu Yinghuai lead Shen Ci’an out of the Imperial Garden.
Their fingers were interlaced. Shen Ci’an’s hand was soft; after so long in Lu Yinghuai’s care, even the faint calluses he had borne when he first returned to the Yong’an household had vanished.
Lu Yinghuai walked quickly toward his chambers, almost impatiently, though he still kept his pace slow enough for Shen Ci’an to follow.
A nameless panic seized Lu Yinghuai, bringing with it an overwhelming urge to chain Shen Ci’an to the bed as he had on the first day. But chains could not keep Shen Ci’an. He did not know what would.
Even with the love gu inside him, even after months of behaving as though he truly loved Lu Yinghuai, Shen Ci’an could still make him afraid.
The gu was why Shen Ci’an loved him. Lu Jiayan was the man Shen Ci’an had loved of his own accord. And Lu Sihe bore a slight resemblance to Lu Jiayan. Was that why Shen Ci’an had enjoyed talking to someone he had met only twice? Was that familiar face why he had smiled at Lu Sihe with such warmth?
Shen Ci’an’s love was something Lu Yinghuai had stolen. He knew it, and he was afraid that one day everything he had stolen would be taken from him.
His hand was frighteningly cold. Even after they reached his chambers, he did not let go of Shen Ci’an’s. The vast room was empty. There were no wedding robes waiting for them. The Imperial Wardrobe was making them, but they would not be ready for months.
Lu Yinghuai drew Shen Ci’an to the bed and, without a word, began undoing his clothes.
That genuinely startled Shen Ci’an. He caught Lu Yinghuai’s hands and demanded in irritation, “What are you doing? It’s broad daylight.”
What lovers do…
Lu Yinghuai desired him, but he usually knew when to stop. Now he could barely control the urge to have Shen Ci’an.
It was not pleasure he was after. Seeing Shen Ci’an so friendly with Lu Sihe had left him in a panic. He needed to hold Shen Ci’an close, to claim him, as if that alone might quiet his fear.
Shen Ci’an’s ears turned scarlet. Angry now, he kicked Lu Yinghuai again, and this time he did not hold back. The sharp sting brought Lu Yinghuai to his senses for a moment. He released him and sat down beside him.
The anger on Shen Ci’an’s face made his heart tighten. With a sigh, he apologized. “I was wrong. I lost control.”
Shen Ci’an did not look at him. He lowered his head and fastened the buttons Lu Yinghuai had undone. Only when his clothes were straight again did he turn to face him.
“If you don’t want me speaking to Lu Sihe, tell me. As long as what you ask isn’t unreasonable, I’ll agree.”
So he knew all along…
Lu Yinghuai searched his face, looking for some sign that Shen Ci’an was merely saying it to placate him. He found none. Shen Ci’an was serious, and the color had not yet faded from his ears.
“Then will you stop talking to Lu Sihe?”
“Yes.”
“And Lu Jiayan?”
“All right.”
His mission was complete. He was unlikely to have any reason to see Lu Jiayan again.
“Then will you marry me this year? I’ll write to your father at once and issue the decree making you my empress. Everyone will know you’re mine. Mine alone.”
“All right.”
Lu Yinghuai looked at him. Shen Ci’an’s expression was calm, but his answer had been firm. Lu Yinghuai asked the question he had asked countless times before.
“Do you love me?”
“I am Shen Ci’an. I love Lu Yinghuai.”
He had answered both questions before Lu Yinghuai could ask them: who he was, and whom he loved.
With the calmest expression, Shen Ci’an had said the words Lu Yinghuai most longed to hear.
For a moment, Lu Yinghuai could have sworn fireworks were bursting inside his chest.
Author’s note: Happy New Year, everyone! As always, I’m asking for monthly votes. If you have any to spare, please send them my way. I’m in eleventh place, only a few votes shy of the top ten. If you don’t have any, that’s fine too—when you have time, please drop by the first chapter and leave a check-in. Thank you, everyone!
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