Chapter 34: If You Want It, I Can Give It to You

Shang Jianli added, “If there’s anything you need from me, please contact me”

Even knowing Ji Shileng had no need of him, he made the promise anyway.

Ji Shileng blinked. As though joking, he leaned close to Shang Jianli’s ear, his warm, damp breath brushing over his neck.

“What if I said I wanted the Shang family? Would you give it to me?”

The moment Ji Shileng leaned in, half of Shang Jianli’s body went rigid. Every sensation beside his ear seemed infinitely heightened. At a loss, he stared at the floor.

When no answer came, Ji Shileng was not surprised.

It was exactly what he had expected.

Every promise Shang Jianli made came with boundaries of his own choosing.

Ask for something beyond those boundaries, and the promise ceased to apply.

He was used to it.

Suddenly bored, he turned to leave without another word.

But Shang Jianli noticed in time. Stepping forward, he caught Ji Shileng’s wrist and spoke slowly, quietly enough for only the two of them to hear.

“If you want it, I can give it to you”

“But you have to take me too”

Ji Shileng burst out laughing.

“So I have to pick up a stray goat along the way?”

“You’ve changed a great deal”

His laughter gradually faded, his expression turning serious.

“But there’s no need”

“Just be yourself. Don’t change for someone else”

Shang Jianli did not need to humble himself like this.

Once, Shang Jianli had said those very words to him.

Now he returned them, unchanged.

Unexpectedly, in that moment, Ji Shileng felt himself let go of a great deal.

Still, he could not deny that he was petty too.

“So make sure you never fall for anyone else”

Do not fall for someone else. Do not change for the person you love.

He admitted he could not bear to see Shang Jianli become a different man for someone else.

This was hardly the place for a long conversation, especially while the two of them were still caught in this awkward tug-of-war.

It was unseemly, in full public view.

As intelligent as Shang Jianli was, he understood everything.

Every implication. Every explicit word.

Much of the warmth seemed to drain from his body. The hall was crowded with people, so why did he feel cold?

“I don’t like anyone else”

“You’re the only one I like. The only one I love”

The scene did not unfold as Shang Jianli had imagined. Ji Shileng merely nodded calmly, then told him, “But I’m not the Ji Shileng I used to be”

“There’s no possibility of us being together”

Shang Jianli stared stubbornly at him, his eyes slowly reddening.

He heard Ji Shileng praise how disciplined he had once been.

He heard him say, “General Shang, please cut your losses while you can”

“In an adult relationship, knowing when to walk away is the highest form of self-discipline”

“Just keep being disciplined”

There was no need to persist in something one knew was impossible. There was value in knowing one’s own limits.

Ji Shileng’s words left Shang Jianli stunned where he stood.

He stiffly parted his lips, unable to find a response.

Too many reporters were gathering around them. Unable to speak, he could only watch Ji Shileng field a few questions with ease before leaving serenely.

He was afraid that if he opened his mouth, his tears would fall.

Behind him, Chu Wan sighed and stopped the reporters approaching with microphones in hand.

Their unwillingness to question Ji Shileng did not mean they were afraid to question Shang Jianli.

After all, people who were too timid—or had too high an ethical threshold—rarely lasted long in this profession.

“General Shang, is your continued refusal to erect a grave for your late spouse connected to the Ji family’s third child?”

“General Shang, we’ve never heard of any connection between you and the Federation’s Ji family. Did you request a photograph with Ji Shileng today because he reminded you of your late spouse?”

“I’ve heard you played a part in your late spouse’s poor reputation during his lifetime. Now that you’ve seen Ji Shileng’s resemblance to him, do you regret it?”

The questions were merciless. Every one contained the words “late spouse.”

They made Shang Jianli’s head feel as though it would split.

The Imperial delegates behind him had no desire to join the spectacle. They took the opportunity to wander off, putting as much distance as possible between themselves and the “battlefield.”

Approaching now would be asking to bear the brunt of General Shang’s temper.

Those who had previously remained uncertain now understood perfectly after attending this conference.

Ji Shileng was Shang Jianli’s “late spouse.”

Chu Wan’s face was stern.

“Members of the press, the committee meeting has ended. This is personal time. If someone is unwilling to be interviewed, please stop pressing them”

The scene descended into chaos.

Elsewhere, Ji Shileng sat on the edge of a flower bed, yawning as he waited idly for his brother.

Instead of his brother, however, Qin Si arrived first.

“Good afternoon, Xiaoshi”

He gracefully took a seat beside Ji Shileng.

Ji Shileng pressed his temples, tacitly accepting his presence.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Qin”

The lingering sunset was a clear, honeyed gold.

It gradually sank lower, casting its light over Ji Shileng.

After a stretch of silence, Qin Si spoke first.

“I thought you’d make a point of avoiding him”

There was no need to guess whom he meant.

Ji Shileng braced his hands beside him and tilted his head back, enjoying the gentleness before sunset.

“He’s not an enemy. There’s nothing to avoid”

Besides, they had just become business partners as well.

“You’re remarkably philosophical about it”

Qin Si smiled.

“You give me too much credit”

Ji Shileng opened his eyes and looked at the dark shadow on the ground. Then he asked, seemingly out of nowhere, “Do you know why our shadows are black, while balloons can cast colored shadows?”

Qin Si raised an eyebrow and answered simply.

“Shadows can have color. Ours are black because our bodies are too thick”

For the sake of precision, he added, “Balloons are thin enough to let light through. Light reflected from the ground can also strike the balloon and be reflected again”

Ji Shileng neither agreed nor disagreed. Swinging his legs twice, he said, “Think about it another way”

“Shouldn’t we try to live with a little more clarity? Let things pass through us, and perhaps our lives can be more colorful too”

There was no need to avoid Shang Jianli like something poisonous.

No need to punish his newly reborn self in the “second half of his life” for the mistakes of the “first.”

With a little more understanding and perspective, life would gradually improve.

Qin Si fell briefly silent. Understanding Ji Shileng’s meaning, he smiled, his eyes curving.

“I suppose you’re right. Those of us in the sciences instinctively start explaining things in terms of reflection and so on”

Ji Shileng gave him an easy way out.

“That’s a good thing. People in the sciences tend to favor reason over emotion. My brother’s like that too”

“Besides, a thousand readers will see a thousand Hamlets. We can’t—and shouldn’t expect to—make everyone think the way we do”

He spoke slowly and softly, as though simply sharing a story with a friend.

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Chà Chà Novel

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading