Shang Jianli’s face was rather pale, making his lashes appear darker and thicker.
He did not answer immediately, as though seriously considering whether Ji Shileng’s suggestion was feasible.
The smile he put on held no life.
“If you want me to give it up, I could”
Ji Shileng swore inwardly.
“What do you mean, if I want you to?”
He looked straight at Shang Jianli, free and unrestrained.
“Your life belongs to you. You should be thinking about how you want to live, rather than worrying about other people’s opinions”
Shang Jianli remained unmoved. He even added, “You’re different”
Ji Shileng fell silent.
Unreasonable people were irritating at any age.
“Then resign”
Ji Shileng was merciless. Being the bad guy was much more satisfying, anyway.
Shang Jianli chuckled softly.
“All right”
Ji Shileng said no more. Could Shang Jianli really resign simply because he wanted to?
It would hardly be that easy.
Looking at the gift box, he found himself puzzled by their present situation again.
He did not understand what Shang Jianli was so fixated on.
There were countless people better than him. What made him so special?
With Shang Jianli’s status, he could take his pick: tall, thin, plump, handsome—anyone he wanted.
There was no need to remain so stubbornly obsessed.
Ji Shileng settled on a question.
“What did taking this gift box mean to you?”
An Outstanding Graduate Certificate revoked after he had been smeared in the Bitcoin scandal.
What meaning could it possibly hold?
Shang Jianli looked at him without speaking, as though a blizzard had begun in his eyes.
After a long while, he finally said, “Because of you”
“Because of me?”
Ji Shileng could not help finding it laughable. Almost to himself, he murmured, “Then who made me this way?”
He sighed.
“Forget it”
“I agreed to your promise, but I still feel as though I’m taking advantage of you”
He tossed the certificate box into the car, retrieved the tea, and held it out to Shang Jianli.
“Take this as a gift in return”
He did not want to owe him a favor, even if Shang Jianli had proposed the terms himself.
Whether he needed fine tea or not, he would have to accept it.
Shang Jianli did not reach for it. His bloodshot eyes remained fixed on Ji Shileng as he smiled.
“Xiaoshi, you’re not taking advantage of me. I’m taking advantage of your family”
He could not let them become even. He already owed so much; he did not mind taking a little more from the Ji family.
Ji Shileng stared at him for several seconds, then frowned.
“What does that mean?”
“I own shares in Imperial University. That hundred-million investment…”
Ji Shileng promptly withdrew the tea, falling briefly silent.
“So you got a promise for nothing, and a hundred-million investment on top of it?”
No wonder Ji Shiyun always worried about him meeting Shang Jianli alone. How could he possibly outmaneuver the man?
He was being “played” in the palm of his hand.
Shang Jianli smiled gently.
“I’m the wicked one. I’m the scoundrel who secured an investment and still wanted to trick you into giving me a promise”
“Xiaoshi, neither of us is good”
He still remembered what Ji Shileng had said.
“Get lost”
Ji Shileng turned away, avoiding his intent gaze.
“You and I are nothing alike. Don’t flatter yourself”
How many times had he told him not to call him Xiaoshi? Yet he insisted.
Who knew what was going on inside his head?
“I’m leaving”
He got into the car and slammed the door. Seeing Shang Jianli still standing there, he lowered the window and said almost ruthlessly, “Sometimes I suspect you’re practicing systematic desensitization”
The principle of systematic desensitization was to gradually expose a patient to negative emotions and experiences they had previously been unable to face, reducing their anxiety and fear until their heightened sensitivity returned to normal.
In other words:
Shang Jianli would keep moving forward and confronting the difficulties. He would set aside his pride and self-respect, openly expressing his feelings for Ji Shileng.
Once those feelings were exhausted, he would never appear before him again.
Ji Shileng had never believed Shang Jianli liked him all that much to begin with.
He therefore assumed the process would not take long.
The driver listened in bewilderment, unable to make sense of the situation.
Shang Jianli, standing outside the window, understood.
Looking down at Ji Shileng, he smiled.
“But as long as you’re there, somewhere I can see you, I’ll love you more than anything”
How could love ever be used up?
When people stopped loving, it was ultimately because they had been hurt too deeply to dare express that love again.
In Last Words from Montmartre, Qiu Miaojin had written:
“Your inner life came into being through its shared existence with mine. Unless you shut it away completely, unless you excise it entirely, no one but me can satisfy that part of you. It will remain there, yearning to communicate with me.
As long as my life exists, it will long to hear my voice, to hear the music flowing from my spiritual life”
Ji Shileng was silent for a moment before guessing, “Have you been taking Chinese language and literature classes at Imperial University lately?”
“Those are lines con artists use to fool innocent boys and girls. They don’t work on me”
The driver was so startled he accidentally bit his tongue. Their young master really did say whatever came to mind.
Shang Jianli took no offense.
“I could consider it. If I have time, I’ll try studying it”
“These aren’t lies. I want you to know what I’m thinking”
His gaze did not seem false. Deep sorrow was etched into his eyes.
Ji Shileng looked away. Suddenly, an interesting expression occurred to him—one he thought suited Shang Jianli perfectly.
With renewed interest, he rested against the window and looked up at him.
“Do you know the eight dirty tricks?”
Shang Jianli shook his head.
Ji Shileng listed them slowly, one by one.
“False kindness. Praise meant to destroy. Setting traps. Encouragement. Stealing credit. Shifting blame. Spreading rumors. Using someone else to do your dirty work”
He smiled sweetly and asked, almost casually, “How many have you used on me?”
Every trace of warmth and gentleness vanished from Shang Jianli’s face. His blood vessels seemed to constrict all at once, leaving him struggling to breathe.
“How many have you used on me?”
Ji Shileng’s gaze rested on his face with apparent calm, but beneath it, hostility had already consumed his eyes.
“Would you like me to go over them for you?”
He asked gently, as though he had not been the one to endure it all.
Coming back to himself, Shang Jianli took a small step backward, his eyes reddening.
“False kindness, isolation, shifting blame, spreading rumors, using others to hurt me—you’ve shown me all of those”
Ji Shileng sounded utterly unconcerned.
“Is this little performance your way of showing me how you can praise someone to their destruction?”
Lift him to the highest point with love and sweet words, then send him crashing down.
People these days loved to create gods, then kill them.
But the best opportunity to destroy him through adoration had already passed.
Shang Jianli felt as though his heart was about to shatter. Some things, once relinquished, were harder to reclaim than reaching the heavens.
Once, Ji Shileng had willingly placed his kite string in Shang Jianli’s hands.
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